Feburary 2008 – Campaign Notebook

 By Jim Smith
No I haven’t been on the campaign bus with any of the candidates, but I can say with some assurance that nearly all of them would do a better job as President than George Bush. And that’s true even for Mad Max Riekse, who’s running on the American Independent Party. Did you vote for him?
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The Return of the King. The Keeper of the Flame, Count Teddy, has anointed the Black Prince with the mantle of Camelot and sent him on a Quest to Redeem the Throne from the Clintonian Usurpers. Will the rightness of his mission be revealed to the commoners of the realm, or will the Queen of Hearts have her way? Black Prince, be wary of old King Billy who would see his family rule for generations more. He will brook no interference just as he is about to snatch power back from Darth Vader and the Decider.

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By now you probably know the names of the Democrat and Republican who won their California primary. It was likely the candidate with the most money. You probably don’t know the names of the other parties’ candidates who won their primaries. Doesn’t matter, all of the primaries are non-binding. They only elect delegates, who can change their minds at any time. Voting doesn’t mean that anyone pays attention.

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Many people don’t know it, but there are six parties that are qualified to run candidates in California. This is a secret that the mass media doesn’t know. Most Californians don’t know it either. Can you name all six parties? You’re bound to get two right, the Democratic and Republican parties. The others are the American Independent, Green, Libertarian and Peace and Freedom parties.

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One reason more people don’t vote is there is no party identification with a car. That’s right, millions of us spend hours a day in our cars but we don’t know which ones symbolize the political parties. Here are my nominations:

Republican Party – Stretch Limo – Color: Black

Democratic Party – Stretch Limo – Color: White

American Independent Party – Hummer – Color: Yellow

(The AIP was founded by George Wallace, the archsegregationist, in 1968. How embarrassed you must be if you registered with them thinking it was “no party.”

Green Party – Hybrid Prius – Color: Green

Libertarian Party – Mercedes sedan with secret cargo compartment – Color: Tan
(Libertarians are sometimes called Republicans who smoke pot.)

Peace and Freedom Party – 1967 VW Microbus – Color: Rainbow

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In addition to no one paying attention to voting, many states now use voting machines which means that even the machine may not pay attention to how you vote. Was the New Hampshire Democratic primary rigged? That’s the one where more than 10 pre-election, and exit polls all called it for Barack Obama, but Hellary Clinton came out the winner. Have the Democrats learned from the Republicans? 

The day after the primary, Obama said, “I come from Chicago politics. We’re accustomed to rough and tumble.” And just what are Chicago politics known for? Could it be rigging elections, having dead people cast ballots, etc. Surely, the Clintons would never do anything underhanded just to win an election. 

Primary Colors was Newsweek’s Joe Klein’s fictional account of Bill and Hill’s 1992 campaign. This book should be assigned reading for all voters, if in fact, the coronation proceeds on schedule (you know: Bush, 88-92; Clinton, 93-00; Bush, 01-08; Clinton, 09-16). The movie by the same name is much toned down, due to efforts by the Clinton White House, according to insiders.

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Last one out at the Clinton HQ turn off the lights. So now the New York Times and the L.A. Times have endorsed Obama. These two papers aren’t the whole ruling class, but they do reflect what the billionaires, the old money tycoons, are talking about at their clubs. My guess is that a lot of the high rollers are running scared. Bush and Cheney scared the shit out of them on Iraq, and more so on Iran. Then Hellary castigated Obama for ruling out nuking Iran! They probably peed in their pants. And now they’re facing a recession, or depression, that is going to cause riots all over America. Time for a Black President.

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