September 2008 – Swami X Speaks

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By Swami X

Whenever I address a gathering of the Knights of Columbo, and casually suggest the Inquisition isn’t over, their rebuttal, denial and response is so heated, powerful and violent, I tap dance for 20 minutes at the Go-Go Galows County club. I am too young to die, or even get wounded. God loves them, and all the little boys who befriended them. 

Why don’t they let the priests and nuns marry? Have affairs, anyway. They should have heard about Jesus and Magdelana by this time. Well, it’s not my problem, I’m a Hindu and worship an incense burner, along with a couple hundred other Hindus. 

I believe every man, woman and child is their own unique religion, because, everything from snowflakes to fingerprints and vocabularies are unique and different. How’s that for democracy?! Of course, the similarity of Donald Trump’s and Jerry Springer’s sense of humor, is very close. 

It has been revealed by someone who has been very close to both that BaBa’s and Hillary’s bush are identical. However, there is no need for such thoughts here in our elevated discussion on the Pope and His Gang. Great band title, “The Pope and His Gang”.

Anyway, we’re really not going to solve, resolve or change anything here this afternoon. When we finish this and send it off to our Congresswoman, who is busy doing the congress thing, and doesn’t read it, the world will stay as perfect, or imperfect, as before she didn’t read it. Reading is good but it’s not as effective as a good massage, or a blast of Light from the pineal gland, or a well placed bazooka round, not to get religious, or anything.

The greatest thing you can do is really, truly, totally enjoy yourself, however, you don’t want to over do it. I leave you with the Word of God–AUM

Peace Love and a 4-hour week. –Swami

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