By Alexa Hilal

i opened my eyes this morning to an empty mess of sheets beside me and the fat black cat lola basking herself in the same sun that blinded me. she is still laying on my left foot (which is still asleep). it’s monday, i deduce from the garbage and recycling and horticulture trucks rumbling and the street cleaners whirring zirring zeeeeeeeeeeeeeing like the drill at the dentist down the street…stirring up dust that floats in front of my eyes dancing in the same stream of sunlight that is baking the cat. windows shake as the trucks roll by reminding me how close my bed is to the street/the rumbling/the dirt and i sink back down deep feeling safe warm cozy and full…   september 10, 8:25am

michael lives in the abbot kinney memorial library parking lot where you have to know someone to get in and be able to squat. red flannel and suspenders denim linty hair clean shaven face combat boots on 90 degree summer days thick smudged lenses gummy smile. he sits on the stoop next door where no one lives for a few hours every afternoon. i sit on my front porch shielded by dirty white lattice and my socioeconomic standing watching the same world go by day night day- neither of us has anywhere to be. no real obligations at the pressing moment. i asked him if he had any plans for the day and he told me he was just going to get a beer later from the liquor store on the corner. i stood waiting for more and realized that was all i was going to do too…  september 10,  1:15pm

 

feeling sated. almost decadent. finished long dinner with rob and am beginning my third glass of wine- jug wine reminiscent of sundays at sacred heart chapel watching the nuns tip the chalices back after everyone else had tasted the sacrament. a sharp ensemble of clothes is laid out on the hope chest for tomorrow’s interview and i can hear it begging for validation acceptance approval. i ignore it and sit on the couch facing a wall full of framed faces we no longer see and rob pounds away on the piano lost in the music that heats my soul and the cat is finally moving off the bed where she has laid all day. she saunters off the bed and stretches long with eyes squinting shut only to jump onto the hope chest to settle deep into my clothes and asleep…  september 10, 9:49pm.

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